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Blunt posted: 29 Jun at 2:25 am
If its immediate family, I’m guessing that you are prettu much trapped and have to attend.
Just wait and see if her father makes her change her mind.
Good luck
lori posted: 02 Jul at 3:01 am
Just wait and see what her father says, you might be worrying too much about nothing. It was just an idea, seems like. I mean who would not like the get married on an island!? If they do do it there though, I would go because it is your husbands sister and I’m sure he would like to go.
Alison posted: 03 Jul at 11:32 pm
if you can afford it you have to go, but can they really blame you if you can’t afford it?
*~alycia~* posted: 05 Jul at 10:18 am
It is not a bad thing if you don’t want to go, just tell her you don’t have the money, I am sure you are not the only one who can’t afford it, or doesn’t want to fork out the money to go! Hopefully she changes her mind!
Tracy M posted: 08 Jul at 1:32 am
If she goes through with this then tell her VERY NICELY that while you would love to have gone you simply cannot tolerate heat, etc. or you cannot get time off work (only if that is the truth though) but would love to get together upon her return to do something to celebrate.
robrobiii posted: 11 Jul at 10:43 am
YOU don’t have to go, but your husband probably does.
I think when someone sets up a destination wedding they don’t expect everyone to make it.
Emanon posted: 13 Jul at 5:34 pm
My brother and his soon-to-be are planning a wedding in Hawaii. Since I have a phobia of planes and my husband and I just bought a house, I have told them we won’t be coming to the wedding. No big deal. They understand. They are planning a “reception” here after so my husband and I will be sure to attend that.
truefirstedition posted: 14 Jul at 4:54 am
Either **** it up and go or gracefully decline. If someone asks, just say that you can’t afford to go on an expensive trip right now. People who have destination weddings count on many people not attending because of the expense and inconvenience of travel.
melouofs posted: 15 Jul at 4:54 pm
An invitation is simply a request-it is not a summons. You go or don’t-just like with any other wedding. People who have destination weddings expect a small acceptance rate. Those who do attend usually have great things to say about them, and combine their own vacations with the wedding being one activity they do while on vacation. If it simply isn’t for you, decline. No need to be sour about it. If your husband really wants to go, maybe you can let him attend on his own since she’s his fave sis. He can share a room with another family member, cutting the cost of staying in half.
What if it wasn’t called a destination wedding, but she lived a distance away-would you still feel like this? I know that with ours it didn’t really matter because our family is so scattered, even if we had our wedding in our living room, it still would have meant airfare and hotels for most people, so why not just have them fly somewhere lovely instead? Those who came loved it, those who didn’t had their own reasons, and we totally expected it from the get go.
Cyndi posted: 15 Jul at 5:50 pm
Just let her know up front that you won’t be able to attend because of cost reasons, vacation time reasons, and health reasons. I think these types of weddings ask a lot of the guests and the brides should be willing to accept that many guests will not be able to attend. If she’s still in the planning phase of her wedding and you tell her that it’s not going to work for you, she might alter her plans if she really wants you to be there.
Katie G posted: 17 Jul at 2:55 am
You have the right to decline her invitation due to your finances, just as she has the right to have her dream wedding wherever she chooses.
True posted: 20 Jul at 2:24 pm
It isn’t rude to have a destination wedding.
It also isn’t rude for a guest to decline to spend the money.
I’ve been invited to a few DW. I’ve only gone to one which was a very close cousin of mine. I will be going to another this December which is the wedding of my best friend. Others I have said no and sent a gift to their home.
l y posted: 23 Jul at 6:01 pm
you should look at this as your family getting married, not you having to shell out money. i’m having a destination wedding, and having the same problem with my future sister in law. she’s complaining about spending money and not even excited to see us get married. she’s making this all about her and it sound like you’re doing the same thing.
if there’s no changing your mind about this, keep it to yourself. calmly decline, b/c from being in the other person’s position, i wish she would just say she’s not going rather than b*tch 24/7.
Amie87 posted: 26 Jul at 10:22 pm
Before you make a move wait to see if she changes her mind because her father wont go. If she does great, but if not and your husband wants to go and you have the ability to go just go. If it was your family member I’d say make the call what ever way you want, but since it’s his favorite sister I’d let him choose. If you don’t go just tell her it’s too much for you two to spend. That’s the trade off when you have a destination wedding sure you get a beautiful setting, but many people will not go because it’s just too much, even for family.
Garnet Glitter posted: 28 Jul at 11:05 pm
When you have a destination wedding you run the risk of people not being able to shell out the big bucks to attend regardless of whether they can afford it or not, family or not. Not to accept is understandable…not to understand the declined invite is rude.
Your vacation time is yours…you should pick the place.
Spend several thousand dollars to attend a ceremony that lasts, what 4 hours (if there’s a reception)…nope, not me.
I totally disagree with this whatever the couple wants and the guests have to **** it up…….if your dream wedding is a serious inconvenience to your guests, and their comfort needs to be considered after all you are the host at your wedding and the host always considers the guests, then accept it when they can’t/won’t attend…..would you go and spend all that money on some one else’s wedding if the situation is reversed? I don’t think so…..good luck.
wanda h posted: 30 Jul at 4:13 am
if going will cause you finical hardship and/or health issue than explain that to her,buy a nice wedding gift and ask someone to video it for you or let your husband go alone. it is an invitation and you do not have to except.
goddessofbeer69 posted: 01 Aug at 1:57 am
At 30 years old I got my passport for the first time and left the “country” for the first time to attend my sisters wedding in the Islands. I wasn’t dating anyone at the time and spent a couple days relaxing with my family, having frozen drinks in the hot tub with grandma…lol, and seeing a beautiful part of the world that I had never seen before.
If you can afford to go and don’t then you just come off like a complainer. If you really can’t afford it I’m sure they’ll understand. But don’t cancel the idea out. You may like it more than you think!